9.29.2008
How to Communicate Using VT
What keeps me busy nowadays is my venture in the World Wide Web. I happen to stumble upon a very interesting thing today.
Have you ever heard about VT? OK, VT means visual talking. We've studied about verbal and non-verbal communication during our Speech Communication class. I thought non-verbal communication can only take the form of facial expressions, hand gestures and body language. But today, I rediscovered an entirely interesting way of talking without opening your mouth. It's called visual talking. You share your thoughts, ideas, opinions or even tell a story by using pictures.
How to communicate using VT? It's very simple.
First, think of what you want to say or talk about. Then pick a picture that will represent each word. This is when your innate creativity will kick in. If you want to view some examples, click here. Try it out, it's fun!
How to Communicate Love
By Divine Grace Segunla
Can you imagine a world without love? I can’t and I bet you can’t too. As the saying goes, “love makes the world go round” but I say love makes our world. Love is like oxygen that keeps us alive. Love is the very thing that makes life worth living. Without love, we are like zombies who just go through our daily routines but at the end of the day, we find no sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. What a tragedy that would be.
Sadly, statistics show that today one out of two marriages end up in divorce. I believe the reason being is the failure to lay down the proper foundation from the very start. For a relationship to last, it should be established in love. But what has happened? The number of broken families is ever increasing and the ones that are most affected are the children. I know how hard it can get being a product of a broken family myself.
I do believe that we can do something about it. William James said, “The deepest desire in human nature is the craving to be appreciated [or loved].” If each individual would do their part in showing love to the people around them, I am certain that the world will be a whole lot better. And the rate of divorce and break-ups would skyrocket downward.
If you’re with me, let’s find out how to make special people in our lives know they are truly loved.
Ever heard of the five languages? I discovered the concept from an excellent book, “The Five Love Languages” written by Gary Chapman. According to Chapman, there is an effective way of expressing love that the other person will understand. We can do that by communicating love using the five love languages.
There are five love languages:
• Quality Time
Some people believe that the best way to show love is by spending time, doing things together and just giving each other undivided attention. Going on a date, a vacation or just simply hanging out talking about each other’s concerns and interests are some ways of spending quality time with a loved one.
• Gifts
A present, doesn’t have to be expensive at all, can mean so much. Please do not forget birthdays and anniversary more than any other occasions. If you’re not good with dates, please by all means don’t make yourself forget.
• Acts of Service
Nothing can beat an early breakfast in bed prepared all by yourself, offering to wash the dishes, drive her to work and doing a favor. A small act of service can send a powerful message of love.
• Physical Touch
Sometimes, a pat in the back, a peck on the cheek, holding hands and a big hug can make your loved ones’ day.
• Words of Affirmation
This is when you appreciate your special someone, saying thank you, I love you and I miss you will surely fill the ‘love tank’.
Each of us has a primary love language and our main responsibility is to find out which of the five our loved ones want to receive most of the time. It can help to ask some questions, what do they request most often? How do they express love? What do they complain the most? Or better yet, grab a copy of Dr. Chapman’s book.
Dr. Chapman said, “Love is something we do for someone else.” Love isn’t just about feelings. Love is an action. We need to make a decision everyday to communicate our love to the people closest tour hearts.
To get a copy of the book, click here.
Can you imagine a world without love? I can’t and I bet you can’t too. As the saying goes, “love makes the world go round” but I say love makes our world. Love is like oxygen that keeps us alive. Love is the very thing that makes life worth living. Without love, we are like zombies who just go through our daily routines but at the end of the day, we find no sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. What a tragedy that would be.
Sadly, statistics show that today one out of two marriages end up in divorce. I believe the reason being is the failure to lay down the proper foundation from the very start. For a relationship to last, it should be established in love. But what has happened? The number of broken families is ever increasing and the ones that are most affected are the children. I know how hard it can get being a product of a broken family myself.
I do believe that we can do something about it. William James said, “The deepest desire in human nature is the craving to be appreciated [or loved].” If each individual would do their part in showing love to the people around them, I am certain that the world will be a whole lot better. And the rate of divorce and break-ups would skyrocket downward.
If you’re with me, let’s find out how to make special people in our lives know they are truly loved.
Ever heard of the five languages? I discovered the concept from an excellent book, “The Five Love Languages” written by Gary Chapman. According to Chapman, there is an effective way of expressing love that the other person will understand. We can do that by communicating love using the five love languages.
There are five love languages:
• Quality Time
Some people believe that the best way to show love is by spending time, doing things together and just giving each other undivided attention. Going on a date, a vacation or just simply hanging out talking about each other’s concerns and interests are some ways of spending quality time with a loved one.
• Gifts
A present, doesn’t have to be expensive at all, can mean so much. Please do not forget birthdays and anniversary more than any other occasions. If you’re not good with dates, please by all means don’t make yourself forget.
• Acts of Service
Nothing can beat an early breakfast in bed prepared all by yourself, offering to wash the dishes, drive her to work and doing a favor. A small act of service can send a powerful message of love.
• Physical Touch
Sometimes, a pat in the back, a peck on the cheek, holding hands and a big hug can make your loved ones’ day.
• Words of Affirmation
This is when you appreciate your special someone, saying thank you, I love you and I miss you will surely fill the ‘love tank’.
Each of us has a primary love language and our main responsibility is to find out which of the five our loved ones want to receive most of the time. It can help to ask some questions, what do they request most often? How do they express love? What do they complain the most? Or better yet, grab a copy of Dr. Chapman’s book.
Dr. Chapman said, “Love is something we do for someone else.” Love isn’t just about feelings. Love is an action. We need to make a decision everyday to communicate our love to the people closest tour hearts.
To get a copy of the book, click here.
9.27.2008
How to Set and Fulfill Your Goals
By Divine Grace R. Segunla
Do you know that 97% of adults do not have goals? No wonder thousands or even millions of people die everyday without living their lives to the fullest. Sadly, they were victims of circumstance.
It’s not their fault that they were born poor, grew up uneducated and underprivileged. One could rant and complain about how unfair life is day after day after day. Well, it really is unfair. But the reality is nothing will change in your life unless you take actions now. Your circumstances will not change on their own. It’s in your hands to change things around you. You are the author of your life story.
If we look at history, hundreds of successful men and women started with nothing. Abraham Lincoln referred to by former Secretary of War Stanton as “the most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever seen” and probably America’s greatest president that ever lived started as a grocery clerk. He was poverty-stricken and uneducated but that didn’t stop him from reading law books he bought for fifty cents from a household plunder. Andrew Carnegie is the famous 19th century steel tycoon who gave away $365 million. He was nothing but an impoverished young man from Scotland who started to work at 2 cents per hour. Oprah Winfrey is the most powerful celebrity in the world today as declared by Forbes for earning $260 million last year. It wasn’t a walk in the park for Oprah. She was born out of wedlock to a poverty-stricken young woman. She was sexually abused by a number of male relatives and her mother’s friends. In honor of my hero, my grandfather, let me share his story. Juanito Segunla married at a very young age and had eight children. Due to lack of education, the only job available is selling vegetables in the market. But that didn’t stop him from supporting all eight children to finish college education and even his grandsons (and daughters). He was also able to build his dream house for his family.
There are hundred of success stories of men and women who started with barely anything. They were ordinary people just like you and me. But what makes them different? What makes them great?
It’s their ability to see where they’re going. You cannot go anywhere unless you have a destination in mind. It’s their ability to dream. It’s their ability to change their circumstances. It’s their ability to set goals. They knew what they want in life.
There are no limits to the goals we can achieve in life. If we commit our mind, our heart and our life we can achieve just about anything.
I hope I made my point across. We need to set goals so we can get started in life. Here is a guideline of setting goals I got from Zig Ziglar.
1. Find the Goal
No one can do this for us. It is our greatest responsibility to discover what we want to achieve in life. Take some time and think it over. Get a notebook and write down everything you want to accomplish in your lifetime. You may want to retire young and spend the rest of years traveling around the world or you just want a small business. It doesn’t matter whether it’s big or small as long as it is yours.
2. Overcome Obstacles to the Goal
Do not be alarmed when obstacles arise to hinder you from fulfilling your goals. Obstacles and challenges are part of life. You will never become truly successful unless you overcome them. Obstacles are life’s way of teaching us the indispensability of perseverance to our success.
3. Keep Your Eye on the Goal
Zig wrote, “Life is a series of adjustments always keeping the goal in sight.” There will be unexpected events and disappointments that may make us lose sight of the goal. It is a conscious effort on our part to conduct progress checks and continual review of our goals.
4.Set an Attainable Goal
Florence Chadwick was the first woman in history to swim (20 miles) the English Channel from France to England in 1950. She failed on her first attempt. The point is we need to realize that failure is part of the equation of success. We cannot do everything on our first try. When you fail the first time around, just get up and do it again.
5. Have Faith in the Goal
I believe this is the most critical guideline in setting and fulfilling our goals. We cannot just rely on wishful thinking. We must believe with all of our heart, mind, strength and soul that it can be done. We must develop the ability to see ourselves in a position of fulfillment.
Let me leave you with a quote from Tom Landry. He said,
“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how will you go about achieving it and staying with the plan.”
Do you know that 97% of adults do not have goals? No wonder thousands or even millions of people die everyday without living their lives to the fullest. Sadly, they were victims of circumstance.
It’s not their fault that they were born poor, grew up uneducated and underprivileged. One could rant and complain about how unfair life is day after day after day. Well, it really is unfair. But the reality is nothing will change in your life unless you take actions now. Your circumstances will not change on their own. It’s in your hands to change things around you. You are the author of your life story.
If we look at history, hundreds of successful men and women started with nothing. Abraham Lincoln referred to by former Secretary of War Stanton as “the most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever seen” and probably America’s greatest president that ever lived started as a grocery clerk. He was poverty-stricken and uneducated but that didn’t stop him from reading law books he bought for fifty cents from a household plunder. Andrew Carnegie is the famous 19th century steel tycoon who gave away $365 million. He was nothing but an impoverished young man from Scotland who started to work at 2 cents per hour. Oprah Winfrey is the most powerful celebrity in the world today as declared by Forbes for earning $260 million last year. It wasn’t a walk in the park for Oprah. She was born out of wedlock to a poverty-stricken young woman. She was sexually abused by a number of male relatives and her mother’s friends. In honor of my hero, my grandfather, let me share his story. Juanito Segunla married at a very young age and had eight children. Due to lack of education, the only job available is selling vegetables in the market. But that didn’t stop him from supporting all eight children to finish college education and even his grandsons (and daughters). He was also able to build his dream house for his family.
There are hundred of success stories of men and women who started with barely anything. They were ordinary people just like you and me. But what makes them different? What makes them great?
It’s their ability to see where they’re going. You cannot go anywhere unless you have a destination in mind. It’s their ability to dream. It’s their ability to change their circumstances. It’s their ability to set goals. They knew what they want in life.
There are no limits to the goals we can achieve in life. If we commit our mind, our heart and our life we can achieve just about anything.
I hope I made my point across. We need to set goals so we can get started in life. Here is a guideline of setting goals I got from Zig Ziglar.
1. Find the Goal
No one can do this for us. It is our greatest responsibility to discover what we want to achieve in life. Take some time and think it over. Get a notebook and write down everything you want to accomplish in your lifetime. You may want to retire young and spend the rest of years traveling around the world or you just want a small business. It doesn’t matter whether it’s big or small as long as it is yours.
2. Overcome Obstacles to the Goal
Do not be alarmed when obstacles arise to hinder you from fulfilling your goals. Obstacles and challenges are part of life. You will never become truly successful unless you overcome them. Obstacles are life’s way of teaching us the indispensability of perseverance to our success.
3. Keep Your Eye on the Goal
Zig wrote, “Life is a series of adjustments always keeping the goal in sight.” There will be unexpected events and disappointments that may make us lose sight of the goal. It is a conscious effort on our part to conduct progress checks and continual review of our goals.
4.Set an Attainable Goal
Florence Chadwick was the first woman in history to swim (20 miles) the English Channel from France to England in 1950. She failed on her first attempt. The point is we need to realize that failure is part of the equation of success. We cannot do everything on our first try. When you fail the first time around, just get up and do it again.
5. Have Faith in the Goal
I believe this is the most critical guideline in setting and fulfilling our goals. We cannot just rely on wishful thinking. We must believe with all of our heart, mind, strength and soul that it can be done. We must develop the ability to see ourselves in a position of fulfillment.
Let me leave you with a quote from Tom Landry. He said,
“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how will you go about achieving it and staying with the plan.”
How to Live a Better than Good Life
By Divine Grace Segunla
Who wouldn’t want to live a better than good life? I’m pretty sure that out of 6 billion people on Earth, probably all 6 billion would want, if not better, to live a good life. The promise of what’s good, and better and if possible perfect, is something we cannot turn our backs from.
Before we go any further, let me make sure and ask you, “Do you want a better than good life? “Are you sure?” “Really now?” Good. Then let me share with you the three secrets of the “better than good” life.
Zig Ziglar, a premier motivational speaker and a top selling author wrote one of my most favorite books of all time, Better than Good: Creating a Life You Can’t Wait to Live. In his book, Zig revealed the three pillars of the life we all want to live: passion, peak performance and purpose. We cannot continue to stay motivated in life unless we understand these three elements by heart.
Passion is indispensable in our quest for the full life. In the same way that gas fuels our car’s engines so as passion fuels our drive to reach the peak of our Everest. At the end of the day, it is our passion that will keep us focused on the target. It is passion that will awaken us the next day and will keep us going. It doesn’t matter what our field of endeavor is (business, career, sports, medicine and public service), without passion we are bound to fail. No one could have said it better but Zig, “Life is too tough to get to the top without passion.”
Life is harder than I thought. I didn’t realize that until I finished my journey as a student. The real world is more complicated than I expected. If I could, I would wish to stay a student forever. Then I don’t have to worry about my future. What is it in the world for me?
There will be times that we will be criticized, offended and hurt. We will fail countless times, discouraged in so many ways, disappointed by people we trust, disappointed by ourselves and ran out of resources. Everyday we will be tempted to give up and we might do just that without passion.
The first thing we need to do in order to live a ‘better than good ’ life is to discover our passion. What makes you tick? What you have natural talent for? What do you love to do?
Our greatest responsibility in life is to find out what we love to do and dedicate ourselves to it. Most successful men around the world would say, ‘I never worked a day in my life.’ They love what they do that’s why they’re not only good at it but they’re at their best. Passion plays a very important role in all great accomplishments. To get you started, answer the following questions. If you won a $1M, would you continue to do what you are doing? Would you stay in your current job?
I love it when Zig said, “Finding and developing passion is a journey, not an event.” Don’t stress yourselves if you don’t discover your passion overnight. It will not happen. There is a process that we need to go through. You might find yours earlier or later in life. It doesn’t matter as long as you commit yourself to discovering it.
The second element of a full life is peak performance. But we must keep in mind that we cannot function at our peak unless we know our passion. Passion is a prerequisite to peak performance. The moment you realize what you love to do, you must resolve to be the very best in it. Brian Tracy said, “Your life will only get better when you get better”.
In order to perform at our peak, we need to set goals, have a passionate plan and we need to develop ‘better than good’ habits. Do you know that 97% of adults have not made their goals? You cannot go somewhere unless you have a destination in mind. If you haven’t thought about it, then you need to sit down and set your goals. It may take you hours, a day, a week or even a month if necessary. What do you want to achieve in your lifetime? What do you want to accomplish? Sit down and write down your goals. There is no limit to the number of goals you can set. Sky is the limit.
How do you plan to achieve those goals? It’s time to develop a passionate plan. Tom Landry once said, “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with the plan.” If Noah of the Bible built the ark 100 years before the flood then we ourselves need to back our goals with plans. The moment you combine passion with planning then good things will start to happen.
The most important thing to do after planning is taking action. The moment you stop taking actions, everything in your plan stops. Reading a good book about what you love to do, getting acquainted with people with the same interest as yours, mental reflection and prayer are all taking action. Make sure that everyday you are doing something to achieve your goals.
To complete the equation, we need one more thing. We need to develop as many positive habits as we can. Frank Outlaw warned us, “Watch your habits; they become character.” Character is what defines us. It becomes our destiny.
Habits can either make us or break us. There are good habits and bad habits, positive or negative and constructive or destructive. If we want to fully live the ‘better than good’ life we need to get rid of the habits that will only pull us down. We can do that if we commit to develop good habits. Eventually good habits will overcome bad habits. Here some of the habits we need to develop: reading books, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, frugal lifestyle, helping other people and more. The list could go on. They say that habits are formed if we do something continually for 21 days or more. You can start with one habit a time. Now, pick a habit that you want to develop and start doing it starting today.
The third element of a full life is purpose. Now that we have discovered our passion and we have resolved to perform at our peak, what’s next? Why do we want to do that? That’s when purpose will complete the whole dynamics of a ‘better than good’ life. Zig wrote, “Without purpose in life we are like the proverbial fool who is all dressed up with no place to go.”
The key question to ask is what really matters to you? What makes your heart sing? What do you dream about? What do you do when you have free time? Whatever it is, that’s what you are passionate about. That’s where your heart is and somewhere, connected to that passion is your purpose in life.
Who wouldn’t want to live a better than good life? I’m pretty sure that out of 6 billion people on Earth, probably all 6 billion would want, if not better, to live a good life. The promise of what’s good, and better and if possible perfect, is something we cannot turn our backs from.
Before we go any further, let me make sure and ask you, “Do you want a better than good life? “Are you sure?” “Really now?” Good. Then let me share with you the three secrets of the “better than good” life.
Zig Ziglar, a premier motivational speaker and a top selling author wrote one of my most favorite books of all time, Better than Good: Creating a Life You Can’t Wait to Live. In his book, Zig revealed the three pillars of the life we all want to live: passion, peak performance and purpose. We cannot continue to stay motivated in life unless we understand these three elements by heart.
Passion is indispensable in our quest for the full life. In the same way that gas fuels our car’s engines so as passion fuels our drive to reach the peak of our Everest. At the end of the day, it is our passion that will keep us focused on the target. It is passion that will awaken us the next day and will keep us going. It doesn’t matter what our field of endeavor is (business, career, sports, medicine and public service), without passion we are bound to fail. No one could have said it better but Zig, “Life is too tough to get to the top without passion.”
Life is harder than I thought. I didn’t realize that until I finished my journey as a student. The real world is more complicated than I expected. If I could, I would wish to stay a student forever. Then I don’t have to worry about my future. What is it in the world for me?
There will be times that we will be criticized, offended and hurt. We will fail countless times, discouraged in so many ways, disappointed by people we trust, disappointed by ourselves and ran out of resources. Everyday we will be tempted to give up and we might do just that without passion.
The first thing we need to do in order to live a ‘better than good ’ life is to discover our passion. What makes you tick? What you have natural talent for? What do you love to do?
Our greatest responsibility in life is to find out what we love to do and dedicate ourselves to it. Most successful men around the world would say, ‘I never worked a day in my life.’ They love what they do that’s why they’re not only good at it but they’re at their best. Passion plays a very important role in all great accomplishments. To get you started, answer the following questions. If you won a $1M, would you continue to do what you are doing? Would you stay in your current job?
I love it when Zig said, “Finding and developing passion is a journey, not an event.” Don’t stress yourselves if you don’t discover your passion overnight. It will not happen. There is a process that we need to go through. You might find yours earlier or later in life. It doesn’t matter as long as you commit yourself to discovering it.
The second element of a full life is peak performance. But we must keep in mind that we cannot function at our peak unless we know our passion. Passion is a prerequisite to peak performance. The moment you realize what you love to do, you must resolve to be the very best in it. Brian Tracy said, “Your life will only get better when you get better”.
In order to perform at our peak, we need to set goals, have a passionate plan and we need to develop ‘better than good’ habits. Do you know that 97% of adults have not made their goals? You cannot go somewhere unless you have a destination in mind. If you haven’t thought about it, then you need to sit down and set your goals. It may take you hours, a day, a week or even a month if necessary. What do you want to achieve in your lifetime? What do you want to accomplish? Sit down and write down your goals. There is no limit to the number of goals you can set. Sky is the limit.
How do you plan to achieve those goals? It’s time to develop a passionate plan. Tom Landry once said, “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with the plan.” If Noah of the Bible built the ark 100 years before the flood then we ourselves need to back our goals with plans. The moment you combine passion with planning then good things will start to happen.
The most important thing to do after planning is taking action. The moment you stop taking actions, everything in your plan stops. Reading a good book about what you love to do, getting acquainted with people with the same interest as yours, mental reflection and prayer are all taking action. Make sure that everyday you are doing something to achieve your goals.
To complete the equation, we need one more thing. We need to develop as many positive habits as we can. Frank Outlaw warned us, “Watch your habits; they become character.” Character is what defines us. It becomes our destiny.
Habits can either make us or break us. There are good habits and bad habits, positive or negative and constructive or destructive. If we want to fully live the ‘better than good’ life we need to get rid of the habits that will only pull us down. We can do that if we commit to develop good habits. Eventually good habits will overcome bad habits. Here some of the habits we need to develop: reading books, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, frugal lifestyle, helping other people and more. The list could go on. They say that habits are formed if we do something continually for 21 days or more. You can start with one habit a time. Now, pick a habit that you want to develop and start doing it starting today.
The third element of a full life is purpose. Now that we have discovered our passion and we have resolved to perform at our peak, what’s next? Why do we want to do that? That’s when purpose will complete the whole dynamics of a ‘better than good’ life. Zig wrote, “Without purpose in life we are like the proverbial fool who is all dressed up with no place to go.”
The key question to ask is what really matters to you? What makes your heart sing? What do you dream about? What do you do when you have free time? Whatever it is, that’s what you are passionate about. That’s where your heart is and somewhere, connected to that passion is your purpose in life.
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